Soul Mates; Tantra, Dharma and Realization

I was once asked by a dear friend of mine whether or not it was possible to have more than one soul mate in this lifetime. I said, simply, it depends on what is in your Dharma. The question of how to live within one's Dharma is a question of learning how to feel into the whole being with truthful awareness as one's intention. Or, really, without any intention at all, other than noticing.

Developing the noticing awareness is a skill that arises naturally in the human child, and is a learned one for the adult through meditation and yoga, as we peel away the layers of hindrances and blockages that society shrouds us in. When we are young, our intuition is so awakened and clear - I remember being four years old and feeling nauseous by anything plastic, and anything violent, and being able to see other people in terms of the light in their body. I remember looking at others, seeing some were so bright and shiny, pure white light, and others were dark and heavy, shadows and dense smoke. Even now, I still find myself nauseated by things most other people don't think about, like the smell and feeling of nail polish on my skin, like the righteous disgust at pollution in nature, a visceral anger that arises within me I often find myself needing to quell so as not to carry.

The noticing awareness is what brings us into fulfillment, at the level of the subtle body frequency. Simple things we don't consider, like how animals respond to us, are incredibly telling signs about whether or not what we are doing for ourselves is actually right for us. Within my own medicine practices, the animals are my gurus; which crystals to work with on my body, which path to choose that is the most of service, even which partners to pursue, I watch all of how nature responds to me in every decision and consider this simple phenomenon above my own ego.

I ask them for their opinions, because they have plenty of them and are trying to give them to us all the time. And as creatures also of this planet, as creatures inherently woven intricately into this ecosystem, we are obligated to be a listening part of the whole.

For instance, the other day I sat with my ex on a bench drinking tea together, talking about life, love, loss and relationships. I was grateful for his emotional support during my most recent breakup, and have been close with him for the decade since our own relationship ended. I could feel his compassion and love for me arising, and I could feel it stirring familiar feelings of comfort in my soul that I missed, dearly. My mind started to wonder whether or not to invite this relationship back into my life would be something good for me, but I could feel a resistance coming from somewhere. A dog walked past us, and wild-eyed started to throw a fit. And suddenly, there were ambulances and firetrucks whirring around us, and the world felt heavy in my heart.

To some, this type of awareness might seem moot - dogs bark at empty doorways and sirens are a side effect of living in a city, happening all the time. But this is only part of the truth - animals have an energetic field of sight and intuition that is beyond that of the human full of a lifetime of toxic foods, and the more clean and healthy our systems are, internally and emotionally, spiritually and externally, the easier it is for us to integrate with the consciousness of nature. This is the work of plant medicine.

When an animal doesn't trust a human, there is always a good reason for it.

For a period of time, when I was living very much outside of my dharma (and knew I was, but was in too much pain to want to come back into myself), I felt such powerful resistance from nature. I went for a walk in a park, in an off-leash area, and was nearly attacked by every single dog that day. I was so upset, I couldn't escape the anxiety and fear, every corner I turned another dog snarling at me until I finally found my way out and felt quiet solace back on the streets again. My own energy was discontinuitous with itself, and I knew it when I woke up that morning and made my conscious choices. I wasn't listening to anything my spirit guides had told me, and suddenly, the vibration of nature had picked up on my sickness and was willing to take me right out of the picture - but wasn't.

The ways in which we can activate our energy bodies are very specific to our incarnation experience; the subtle vibrational frequencies vary from person to person, but overall the methods are the same. Certain crystals will invigorate us, we are naturally drawn to them, and others will deteriorate us, because their effects on our bodies and our psyches (our intentions with them) can have adverse effects if we are not fully aware and careful. Certain foods are the same. Certain people are also the same. These are the things that differentiate healers from those who are harmful. How well we can learn to listen and feel into ourselves, as a cohesive part of the whole, determines how well we can live in alignment with our Dharma, our highest light frequency.

So, when considering a partnership, feel with your soul.

Don't look at the person's tastes, habits, style of clothing, body, etc. but listen with your whole being. Yes, these obvious things are important pieces of compatibility, but if the soul fits together, the heart will naturally evolve to accommodate each other. And whether or not we may have more than one ...

Well, the answer to that is personal.

When you are with someone, do you notice yourself coming to life in ways you have been craving and missing? Do you notice yourself suddenly inspired to make the right decisions for yourself, to listen more in tune with your spirit and guides, do you notice that nature responds to you positively, do you suddenly feel infinitely abundant and able to grow?

Do you feel creative? Alive, able to sleep at night, have a renewed sense of your self?

Do things suddenly feel effortless?

If you feel these things, than yes, this person is a part of your Dharma.

When you are in a monogamous partnership, are you cultivating positive emotions within each other? Are you able to hold sacred space for each other in ways that lets you feel nourished and purified in your expressions?

When you open yourself up to the idea of non-monogamy, does your soul feel confident, do pieces of yourself begin to uncover themselves? Do you feel embodiment?

Learn to feel into yourself, with the truths that really exist there.

How do the people around you respond to you? Do you feel seen, heard, understood? Or do you feel hidden and small, misconceived, self-destructive, enabled to make bad choices? Drained, tired, empty, taken advantage of?

Be authentic in your exploration, and be fearless, too. Because the moment you are fearless about it, is the moment the universe responds to give you what you truly need. Not necessarily what you "desire", because "desire" itself is a projection of the ego, but what you actually need. And need is a response to the overall health and longevity of the full spectrum of being. The subtle body, the emotional, the physical, the environmental, the authentic - when we are in total embodiment, is when we have achieved success.

When we don't seek outside what we already have, when we don't crave because we are instead satisfied, content, have developed Santosha and don't feel greedy or jealous. When our Shakti, our life force, is alive within us at full power and we have the energy and the light to accomplish what we need, that is where our truth is. Those who bring this out in us are the ones we are to keep close to. Those who don't, are the ones we should steer clear from.

Soul Mates, "Twin Flames", are often portrayed as being catastrophic dismal periods of necessary growth - I beg to differ, simply by virtue of being embodied within yourself during the process. If you are embodied, undistracted, and willing to be accountable, the experience can be absolute bliss. And if you are unwilling to do the work, to dive within yourself, to discover everything about you that is truth and alive, then of course you will falter and find a miserable ending. But ultimately, it is up to you how you journey. And I can speak from experience, on all sides. The ego is not the place to love from, the heart is the ultimate truth.

With your heart, follow your body, your mind, your soul, your emotions, your dreams, your consciousness and subconscious, and you will be lead everywhere you need to be. Including into the arms of True Love, however many there may be.

Let life be pleasurable.